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One word in the souk

By Tom, founder of Three Smiles

In a small shop in the Marrakech souk, I handed over my money and said, “Shukran.” Thank you. One word, pronounced SHOOK-ran.

The shop owner clearly appreciated it. He asked me, in English, where I was going next. I told him I wanted the best food, not the tourist food.

“Come with me,” he said.

He led me through the lanes, into a part of the medina I would not have walked into on my own, to the place where the locals eat. Fresh tagines, low prices, and a table on the roof. I would never have found it by myself. One word had turned a sale into an invitation.

The person in front of you

The world feels harder at the moment. Most of us carry the reasons around in our pockets, refreshed every few minutes. A lot of what we see is chosen for us, and over time the people on the other side of a border, or a language, start to look less like people and more like a headline.

Travel quietly resets that. When you get off the plane, the headlines stay on your phone. What you meet instead is a person. The man who carries your bag. The woman who brings your coffee. The family at the next table, laughing about something you cannot follow. None of them are a headline. They are getting on with their day, the same way you would be at home.

The quiet barrier

Language is the most ordinary barrier there is. Most of us do not speak the language of the places we visit, and we are not going to learn it before Thursday.

So we fall back on English. We speak a little louder. We point. It works, more or less. We get the coffee. We find the station. But the exchange stays a transaction. You are the customer and they are the service, and both of you are a little relieved when it is over.

What three words change

It does not take much to change that. Not fluency. Three phrases: hello, thank you and cheers.

When you say hello in someone’s own language, you are telling them you noticed where you are. When you say thank you in it, you are telling them they matter more than the thing they just handed you. When you raise a glass and say cheers in it, you are joining in, not just watching.

Your accent will not be perfect, and nobody expects it to be. Often the reply is a smile, sometimes a laugh, and sometimes a correction, kindly given, which turns into a conversation you would never have had in English.

It is hard to see a country as a headline once someone there has taught you how to say hello.

It goes both ways

This is the part that is easy to miss. Trying is not only about being a good guest. Every time you try, you give the other person permission to reach back. The shop owner who shows you where he eats. The waiter who teaches you the right word. The host who laughs and tells you that you nearly have it.

In Bruges, a simple hello turned into a conversation with a local called Gert. Where were we from? Why were we visiting? What were our plans? Then he took out a map and marked the bars and restaurants where people from the town actually go, well away from the tourist traps around the squares. It made the whole visit.

It is a small thing, done by two people at once. That is what makes it work.

It will not always work

I should be honest about this. Not every hello gets a smile. Sometimes you get a blank look, or a reply in English, or someone who is simply too busy to care. That is fine. You did not say it to earn something. You said it because it is polite to try.

And a few kind words are not a reason to drop your guard. The souk is a busy, brilliant place where you need your wits about you, and I went with that shop owner because it felt right at the time. Trust your instincts. If an offer feels wrong, say thank you, smile and walk on. The phrase still counts.

Start small

You do not need a course, a streak or an hour a day. You need three phrases, said with a bit of courage, and a willingness to get them slightly wrong.

Learn hello, thank you and cheers before your next trip. Say them out loud, even if nobody else around you is trying, in Marrakech or Montréal, a Tokyo noodle bar or a pub in Eryri.

Then watch the face of the person in front of you.